so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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