can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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