He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
