Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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