just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
