Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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