Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
