it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
