he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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