Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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