i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
