did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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