Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm sobbing to NWA
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize