Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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