I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
