my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize