Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
