i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
