In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
