he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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