I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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