I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
