i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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