I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
