hotel room ftw
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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