i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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