PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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