Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
