Porn is love you can see.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
They have beer where we have blood.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
