It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
