I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
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Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
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Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
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