I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
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Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
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So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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