some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
