Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
