using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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