I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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