STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
