I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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