Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
