I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
how do you play pong handcuffed?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
