Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
