ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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