I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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