i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
