I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
