Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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