he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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