she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
