I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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