fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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