mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
