Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
