I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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