NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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