what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
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I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
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Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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