woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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