YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
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She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
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I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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