Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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