idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
