I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize