Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
