Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
