They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
