The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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